Friday, February 20, 2009

The Hollywood All-Stars

A great post from RootZoo, and there list of The All-Time Baseball Movie Team. While I disagree with the batting order a little, it's still a pretty good lineup. Lets get some of the statheads to figure out their numbers, and get them in a simulation league. I think they can compete. So lets take a look.

Further description can be found at the original post.

Batting leadoff, and playing center field...Willie Mays Hayes (Major League)

Batting 2nd, and playing shortstop...Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez (The Sandlot)

Batting 3rd, and playing left field...Kelly Leak (Bad News Bears)

Batting cleanup, and playing right field...Roy Hobbs (The Natural)

Batting 5th, and playing 1st Base...Jack Elliot (Mr. Baseball)

Batting 6th, and catching...Crash Davis (Bull Durham)

Batting 7th, and playing 3rd Base...Roger Dorn (Major League)

Batting 8th, and playing 2nd Base...Marla Hooch (A League of Their Own)

Batting 9th, the starting pitchers...Billy Chapel (For Love of the Game)

Now, personally, I might switch Marla and the kid in the batting order, and go Hobbs, Leak, Elliot, for the left, right, left matchup, but that's quibbling. One thing I do like: no DH. At last, someone gets its.

The rest of the staff:

Steve Nebraska (The Scout)
Henry Rowengartner (Rookie of the Year)
Ryan Dunne (Summer Catch) - L
Henry "Author" Wiggen (Bang the Drum Slowly)

Closer - Rick Vaughn (Major League)

The bench:

Bobby Rayburn (The Fan) - CF
Bump Bailey (The Natural) - LF/RF
Stan Ross (Mr. 3000) - PH/1B
Joe Hardy (Damn Yankees) - PH/1B
Dottie Hinson (A League of Their Own) - C
Jake Taylor (Major League) - C/1B/3B

The staff:

Manager - Jimmy Dugan (A League of Their Own)
Pitching Coach - Phil Brickman (Rookie of the Year)

Now, by my count, that's 6 pitchers and 14 hitters. We need to round out the roster, with at least 4 pitchers, and 1 utility infielder. So here is my list of nominees to fill out the roster.

Utility infielder:
Tanner Boyle (The Bad News Bears) - he just wants to play baseball. You have to love the attitude


Nuke LaLoosh (Bull Durham) - SP -- how can you not have a guy with a million dollar armBingo Long (Bingo Long) - SP - innings eater
Joey Turner (The Bad News Bears) - short relief -- not afraid to back someone off the plate
Carmine Ronzonni (The Bad News Bears) - long relief -- better than we think


General Manager - Ira Lowenstein (A League of Their Own) - hey, this guy cared about his team.
1st base coach - Larry Hockett (Bull Durham) - guy has his priorities straight.
3rd base coach - Red Blow (The Natural) - not afaid to send the runner
Bench coach - Morris Buttermaker (The Bad News Bears) - he can drink with Jimmy. Before, during and after the game.
Hitting coach - Roy Turner (The Bad News Bears) - he'll get the most of the players, if he has to slap them to the ground to do it

Broadcast team:

Harry Doyle (Major League)

Rest of the 40-man roster:

Bruce Pearson (Bang the Drum Slowly) - C -- hit close to .300 in his last season
John Kinsella (Field of Dreams) - C -- hey, he was good enough to play with the Black Sox
Pedro Cerrano (Major League) - LF -- not every pitcher can throw breaking stuff
Heywood (Major League) - 1B -- because we're afraid to tell him no
Leon Carter (Bingo Long) - C -- would edge out Crash on my team
Esquire Joe Callaway (Bingo Long) - OF -- too much natural ability not to be there
The Whammer (The Natural) - 1B -- wasn't he the greatest
T-Rex Pennebaker (Mr 3000) - OF -- great talent
Elmer Kane (Elmer the Great) - 1B -- simply the best
Homer Simpson (The Simpsons) - UT -- you all know we would want Homer on the team
Mike Englebert (The Bad News Bears) - C -- 2nd best hitter on his team

Rudi Stein (The Bad News Bears) - short releif -- some one has to take one for the team
Kit Keller (A League of Thier Own) - long relief -- everyone needs a Livan Hernandez-type pitcher
Professer Vernon K Simpson (It Happens Every Spring) - short relief -- simple unhittable

So that's the rest of the 40-man roster. We're a little short of pitching, particularly left-handers, but aren't we always.
If I've forgotten anyone, let me know.


The Common Man said...

That's an awesome article; thanks for highlighting it, Ron. I don't understand how anyone could not start former all-star Jake Taylor though. Crash never got more than a cup of coffee. It leads to an interesting question: do we go by the talent they show in the movie or by peak value or career value?

Ron Rollins said...

Great point, Common Man, I hadn't thought of it like that.

I'm a big believer in career value. What I know vs what might be.

I acutally would have changed the lineup some, if I had done it originally. And might have redone the 40-man roster. I'm into those old, obscure baseball movies.

But I still think that team could compete, given a good analysis of their movie statistics/abilities.